Out Of The Darkness

Women who suffer pregnancy or infant loss feel alone. They feel a heavy sadness that they must carry alone, in silence.  They feel that no one wants to listen to their laments.  

Even those who will listen but haven't gone though it will not be able to understand. Women need to have a safe place to talk about their loss. They need a place to cry and be understood.  They need to be surrounded by other women who get it, who really know where they are coming from.  

I lost my son, Matthew at 24 weeks.  We went in for our scheduled check up and there was no heartbeat.  Two days later, I delivered my 11 oz baby boy, held him in my arms, our pastor baptized him and we said our goodbyes.  

The pain we suffered will never go away.  I will forever suffer from the loss of my son and no amount of platitudes or urges to "move on" will change that.  The pain has lessened for sure, but the one thing that helps me to heal is to tell the story.  

Every time his name is spoken into the world, my heart feels a little better.  My fear was that he would be forgotten and no one would know or care that he had existed.  

I want to encourage women to share their stories.  Write them out. Every single detail.  Whether you want to share them or not is up to you, but just writing is therapy.  Sharing it gives you more power.  

The devil lives in the dark places.  He wants us to think we are alone.  He wants us to think no one cares or understands.  It's a lie.  By bringing our stories out of the darkness and exposing them to the light, the truth can be seen.  Things aren't as scary in the light.  We aren't afraid in the light.  Let's bring our stories into the light and realize we aren't alone in the darkness.

"But you are a chosen group of people. You are the King’s religious leaders. You are a holy nation. You belong to God. He has done this for you so you can tell others how God has called you out of darkness into His great light." - 1 Peter 2:9