Sucky Sisterhood

I quickly discovered after losing Matthew that I had entered the most sucky sisterhood of all times, but a sisterhood whose worth was immeasurable nonetheless.  

My friends and family all had the best of intentions and everyone was so incredibly appreciated, but the people who had been there where I was, who had loved a baby growing inside of them and grieved for the dreams that would never come true for that child met a need for me during that time that no one else could.  They seemed to know the words to say to give me a moment of clarity.  They could give me hope that I'd come out of this on the other side, when I wasn't so sure it was possible.  They were the ones I could call when I was awake crying in the middle of the night and the house was so quiet.  I felt so alone.  So afraid.  So sad. They didn't mind if I woke them up.  They understood.  

These women have no idea how special they are to me and what a difference they made in my life.  They suggested books and songs that had helped them through.  They gave me words of wisdom, affirmation and love that carried me through my darkest days.  Without them, I don't know what I would have done.  Some of them I didn't even know before I lost Matthew, and they became my lifeline.  I'm forever bonded to them because of the love they showed me.  

Now that I'm on this side of the storm, I  am able to meet women who are going through some of the hardest times of their lives.  I can love them like these women loved me.  I can offer them the same advice, support, recommendations and love that was so generously and unconditionally poured out on me.  I will do it again and again and again, and so will they when they get the opportunity.  They won't do it because they want to.  They will do it because they need to.  They have to.  They yearn to.  They can't sit back and see someone hurting like they were and do nothing.  After walking through it, you know what these women need and don't need and you will do anything in your power to help lessen a perfect stranger's pain, because she is now a part of this Sucky Sisterhood that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.  

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my sisters who carried me through the crappiest of days (and nights).  

<3 Jenn, Cory, Leslie, Casey, Stephanie