Girls, it's time to armor up unfortunately. Yes we've been through hell and back but we have to remember how much we hurt and how much we needed help. We are now called to be that help. Did you have that help? Who was it? Who could you call in the middle of the night if you needed something? If you had that person, you were blessed. If you didn't, what would that have meant to you to know you weren't alone?
For 6 years I sat back when I heard about people who had miscarriages, stillborns, or lost babies. I thought to myself, "How sad. My heart breaks for them. I hope they have someone to connect with like I did." I would pray for them, which is wonderful, but I think we need to step up. I've decided that if I had to go through this pain, I had better make it count. If I can help other moms who are dealing with this pain, then I can at least try to make something good come from Matthew's death.
At first it felt weird to send a stranger a message on Facebook when I heard of their loss. I thought they would think I was crazy, but I chose to be obedient to the calling I had. Sometimes I get no response. Sometimes I get a polite thank you. No one has ever been rude. Several have turned out beautifully and I'm so grateful that I didn't ignore that gut feeling I had to reach out. I'm not an outgoing person at all, but this topic is so close to my heart that I can't sit back and do nothing anymore. I urge you to consider stepping out in faith also. Share your stories with grieving moms, let them know they aren't alone, and you're available to talk. It doesn't matter that your stories aren't the same. What matters is that you are there for them to talk to when they sorrowfully enter the Sucky Sisterhood. Don't just reach out once and tell them you're there if they need you. Check in on them. They won't reach out for help. They need you to offer it to them again and again.
If we as sisters will stand together and let others know we are here and that we aren't afraid to tell our stories, our voices combined will be heard. We are the 1 in 4 who will suffer from pregnancy loss. Our children deserve a voice and our stories can be told without fear of judgment. We hold our pain inside until we are ready to burst as to not cause discomfort to those around us. The hurtful comments, the judging glances, the pity, and the uneducated drivel that spills from people's mouths make you want to scream.
The Sucky Sisterhood not only needs to join together for each other's sanity, but to educate the other 3/4 of the world who have never experienced this loss. The majority of them truly want to know the right things to say and do for their friends and family. Giving them insight to this would be such a loving gesture for the Sucky Sisters now and the unfortunate, unknowing sisters of the future.
Are you willing to stand up and fight for your sisters?