Spirit Lead Me

When Stacey said she felt called to write about being anchored, I felt like this was the opposite of what I want to be.  Untethered? Adrift? No, not exactly.  I don't want to be floating aimlessly with no direction, but I definitely don't want to feel like I'm stuck, unable to move.  I've been stuck for too long.  That's the last place I want to be.  The more I thought about it though, I realized I'm not stuck in the middle of the ocean, I'm rooted on the shore.  I'm a safe distance from the dangers of the ocean.  There are all sorts of things that might hurt you in the ocean.  Safe on the shore is close enough for me.  I can see the ocean. I've read about the ocean. I know there are lots of amazing things going on in there, even though I'm personally not a part of them because... you know... I'm over here... on the beach.  Please tell me I'm not alone over here in the sand?

So maybe being anchored in the ocean wouldn't be so bad.  It would be leaps and bounds better than barely dipping my toes in the water, and then running away like a crazy woman when seaweed brushes against my legs.  A little seaweed never hurt anybody.  I'm not a big fan of the sand, either, if we're honest.  It gets everywhere and is so hard to clean.  Might as well get in the water and wash it off.  

Sure, there are things that might get you in the ocean.  My girls have both gotten stung by jellyfish.  They survived.  One vowed to never return to the ocean again (and has stuck to that vow for years), the other was back in the water the same day.  I'll let you guess which one is most like me.  I don't want to pass on that fear to my children.  I want them to live boldly.  They're less likely to do that without a role model to follow.

The song "Oceans" was sung last week at church.  I recorded my friends singing and playing it beautifully.  I have listened to it a billion times a day since then.  It inspires me to keep moving forward, even when my control freak brain doesn't know where it is going.  Letting go and trusting is the scariest, most freeing  thing I have ever done.  It's counterintuitive to the overly cautious micro manager type, like myself, but it brings more peace than you can imagine.    

-Carol