(Not So) Merry-Go-Round

We Smile

We Smile

We go through the same steps

We go through the same steps

Day after day

Day after day

We do laundry

We do laundry

That never Ends

Because we are blessed to have people to dress

We work, day after day

         We work, day after day

For money that always runs out

For the sweet, smiling faces in our home

We try to please people

We try to please people

Who will never be happy

Because God loves us and we want to share our joy

We eat nothing

We eat

Yet we gain weight

And have leftovers to share

We workout

We workout

But we see no results

And are blessed to have our health

We hold our children tight

We hold our children tight

Yet they still grow up

And are fortunate enough to watch them grow up

They still fall down

To pick them up when they fall

They still hurt

To hold them when they're hurt

They still cry

To wipe their tears from their cheeks

And we can't stop it

and we can help them

We can't stop this Merry-Go-Round

We can't stop this Merry-Go-Round

From spinning

From spinning

I want off

But I wouldn't want off

I'm green

Not for a minute

I'm dizzy

I see the smiles

I'm not having fun

I hear the laughter

I don't see the point

I see the point

I hate this Merry-Go-Round

I love this Merry-Go-Round

Yet still,

And still

We smile.

We smile

This was what I wrote on a particularly bad day. A few people were worried about me. I wasn't suicidal or anything, I was just feeling so defeated, wondering, "what is the point? "

This was what I wrote on a particularly bad day. A few people were worried about me. I wasn't suicidal or anything, I was just feeling so defeated, wondering, "what is the point? "

Two days later, I had taken a day off work because I was still not in a very good head space. I had an appointment anyways, and I just needed a day to myself, so I took the day.  After my appointment, I went to a local coffee shop, had some music blaring in my headphones, and wrote this part as I prayed for a new perspective. 

Two days later, I had taken a day off work because I was still not in a very good head space. I had an appointment anyways, and I just needed a day to myself, so I took the day.  After my appointment, I went to a local coffee shop, had some music blaring in my headphones, and wrote this part as I prayed for a new perspective. 

After that, I wrote this version, which cleaned up some of the cussing, but also took out some of the angst I was feeling, which is why I went ahead and added the other versions.

After that, I wrote this version, which cleaned up some of the cussing, but also took out some of the angst I was feeling, which is why I went ahead and added the other versions.